


didn't mean to do that

by sugarcinnamon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Dildos, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Sexual Frustration, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarcinnamon/pseuds/sugarcinnamon
Summary: That awkward moment when you stumble upon your childhood friend-slash-bully’s porno.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Porco Galliard
Comments: 22
Kudos: 125





	didn't mean to do that

**Author's Note:**

  * For [windastur (kaymono)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaymono/gifts).



> happy valentine's day ya nasties. this is for my lovely @windastur, ilusm this is all for you babyyyyyyyy
> 
> this is basically just a filthy pwp. it's kind of gross. it's kind of weird. i am very sorry. enjoy!

It’s that time of day for Reiner. Alone in his room, windows shuttered, he finally has some peace and quiet to himself. No screaming children leaving shirts in a pile with no regard for Reiner’s meticulous folding. No strange grandmothers making awkward comments about his tight physique and tucked in shirt. And no calls over his radio begging for help at the register because  _ “Hitch hasn’t clocked in yet and there are so many people checking out right now, please just someone save us.” _

None of that now. Reiner’s got a can of iced tea in one hand, and his phone in the other. He’s reading an article on tennis, alternating between taking sips and scrolling. His laptop hums softly in his lap, the _ “Soup Dumplings for Beginners”  _ cooking tutorial he had started paused and forgotten ever since he picked up his phone to answer a text from Bertholdt. 

Yes, this is indeed the perfect kind of evening for Reiner Braun.

After a few lazy minutes of mindless reading, he’s starting to nod off. That’s okay, it’s about 10:00. Earlier than his usual bedtime, but there’s nothing wrong with getting a few extra z’s. 

Eyes shut, his mind gets fuzzy, drifting. He sees flashes of sushi and pineapple fried rice (his dinner from a few hours ago). He sees himself working hard to make the perfect soup dumplings for a new years party. His dream self is working against the clock, like he’s in some sort of cook-off, and he’s rushing to plate it. The timer hits zero—everyone cheers as he brings forth his platter of perfectly cooked soup dumplings! He’s about to pop one into his mouth, chest warm with pride, and—

—and then he wakes with a jolt.

“Dammit,” he grumbles. Reiner will never know what those beautiful dumplings taste like. He swipes at his chin, rubbing off the drool that must have trickled down the corner of his mouth during his hunger induced coma. Gross.

Well, maybe it  _ was _ a good thing Reiner woke up. His laptop is still on, and while he’s not complaining about the way it’s keeping his thighs pleasantly warm he knows it’d burn a hole through the bed if he doesn’t turn it off now. At least Reiner had the decency to put his drink on his nightstand before dozing off.

Reiner sits up with a yawn. A quick glance at his phone tells him he’d only been out for maybe 15 minutes, and he sighs with relief. Thankfully it hadn’t been the usual case of _ “fell asleep early, now I’m awake at the ass crack of dawn and my alarm is going to go off in just two hours.” _

A glass of water sounds pretty tempting to Reiner’s dry mouth and sore throat. He shifts, lifting his laptop up, and then he realizes that between his legs, his dick is, unfortunately, hard.

“What the hell,” Reiner mutters exasperatedly. He had been dreaming about  _ soup dumplings.  _ That’s like, one of the unsexiest things to dream about out there. And yet here he is, stuck with a developing boner he didn’t ask for. 

Well, there’s only one cure for this. 

He sinks back down into the bed, briefly contemplating using his phone instead of his laptop. He decides against it. It’s at 5% and Reiner doesn’t feel like jerking off on his side while his phone’s charging, it always leaves him with back cramps. His laptop, on the other hand, is at 30%, which isn’t optimal, but it’ll have to do.

Reiner’s a simple guy when it comes to porn. As long as there’s a clear shot of dick going into some ass and the moaning doesn’t sound too fake, it’s basically a one-way ticket to orgasm for him. Nothing fancy or long, and for the love of god,  _ no plot please. _ Staged porn reminds him of the days he thought he was straight, desperately trying to convince himself that  _ "SEXY MILFS"  _ or  _ "BIG TITTY GOTHS" _ were sexy. 

But it’s still early in the evening, so Reiner takes his time. His usual go-to’s (basic twink-plus-hunk amateur clips) sound nice, but he’s got some time to kill, and he’s bored. There’s nothing wrong with a casual peruse for some new porn. Reiner’s not a very kinky person, so to him, this kind of searching is more for his own amusement rather than his pleasure.

Most of the stuff he comes across is pretty lame. He starts down the rabbit hole by checking out the animated genre. The 3D render porn of video game characters don’t really do anything for him. He’s slightly disturbed by all the monster porn that pops up in the suggested feed following those videos; he won’t shame anyone but that’s not his thing. The 3D porn leads him to some hentai (the  _ tame _ kind, not anything freaky), and most of it is just the same old recycled clips, since there isn’t much there in the gay side of things. Then there’s some slideshow videos, with still pictures of naked men and text, and it’s not a turn-off, but it’s more boring than anything.

Somehow, Reiner ends up on the JOI (jerk off instructions) side of things. He’s never been terribly interested in the genre; Reiner prefers both to top and to be in control. The whole concept of a JOI is for the viewer to be bossed around, and that’s never been something he’s particularly loved. Plus, almost all the thumbnails are of men shoving their massive dicks up close to the camera, and while Reiner is by no means insecure about his own size, he’d prefer to have a little more breathing room.

Curiosity gets the better of Reiner, though, because he finds himself scrolling through the feed anyways. Part of him figures he might come across something that caters to people who like to top, something different. It couldn’t hurt to check it out.

Alas, there’s almost no variety to be found, and the titles are so vulgar Reiner finds himself cringing almost painfully hard. Things like  _ “ALPHA MALE with HUGE COCK trains TWINKS WITH TIGHT ASSES”  _ and  _ “ASMR: Daddy makes you watch, how long can you last?”  _ basically sum up the entirety of his findings. Some titles include slurs and other derogatory verbiage, and it’s almost a complete turn off for him. Reiner will never understand the appeal people see in degradation, it just seems...too  _ mean _ . He would never be able to be  _ that _ cruel to his partner, let alone allow someone to say things like that to himself.

Feeling less-than-satisfied with his porn journey, Reiner is ready to give up. 30 minutes of browsing have flown by, and he’s come to accept tonight’s jerk-off session will have to be accompanied by his regular picks. He can’t exactly say he’s surprised it turned out this way, but he’s a little disappointed.

Keywords typed into the search bar, Reiner’s about to click through, when something grabs his attention. It’s almost like his brain is yelling  _ “Wait, I recognize that face!!!”  _ and Reiner frowns. He scans the remaining thumbnails up and down—each one of these men are just generic-looking porn stars, mostly ripped dudes with oily abs. Surely his sleep-addled mind is just making it up.

That’s when he sees him.

“No... _ no way.” _ Reiner’s eyes bulge in disbelief. Lo and behold, at the bottom of the page, there’s a video titled  _ “Roommate Finds Your Secret Dildo, Makes You Jerk Off in Front of Him,” _ and in the thumbnail is  _ Porco Galliard.  _

Yes,  _ the _ Porco Galliard. To Reiner’s mother, he’s a good family friend. To his real friends, he’s his neighborhood rival. To  _ Reiner,  _ he’s his childhood  _ bully. _

Okay, well, maybe that’s a little strong. It’s true they certainly didn’t get along as kids—Reiner lost count long ago the number of times they’d wrestled with one another in the playground dirt, kicking and screaming and pulling until the two of them were forced apart. As they grew up, the fighting became less physical, but Porco was  _ always _ on him, a relentless torrent of teasing and bragging and complaining.

Reiner distinctly remembers the time Porco snuck hot sauce into his peanut butter sandwich back in elementary. And the time he tore off his mother’s signature on his field trip permission slip the day it was due in middle school. And the time he hid the toilet paper in their shared hotel room during a traveling football meet, forcing Reiner to text his brother Marcel to bring him some while he sat burning with shame on the toilet. That had been in high school.

There were also times where Porco had made an effort, half-assed as it always was, to get along with Reiner. On the field, he was always a team player, granting Reiner the courtesy of  _ not _ trying to trip him up at every opportunity. And there was one time he even drove Reiner home from school when his car had broken down—although Marcel had probably done some convincing there. Porco also had the decency to be friendly with Reiner’s family. Really, Reiner doesn’t think he was  _ that  _ bad of a guy, he just...singled Reiner out for whatever reason. 

But it’s been years since Reiner last saw Porco. He’s got no idea whether or not he stayed in Liberio, or if he’s moved somewhere else. In fact, Reiner can’t remember the last time he spent a spare moment thinking about the guy.

In any case, Reiner  _ never _ imagined he would ever be a  _ pornstar.  _ It just doesn’t make any sense! Clean cut, sanitation-obsessed, “I’m not  _ filthy _ like you” Porco Galliard would  _ never _ choose to do porn. Not that Reiner sees sex work as something shameful, but he figured Porco would think of it as something beneath him, something dirty.

And yet, here he is, in the flesh. 

Okay, so Reiner will admit it: he’s kind of interested. Come on, this is his  _ childhood bully-slash-friend _ he’s looking at on a  _ porn site. _ It seems perfectly reasonable to be a little nosey in a situation like this.

He takes a closer look at the video card. In the thumbnail, Porco’s shirtless, a sight that’s not  _ entirely  _ new to Reiner, since the two would bump into one another in the locker rooms back then, but it feels strange in this context, almost voyeuristic. He’s holding a pink dildo, which looks a little too big to be shoved up someone’s ass in Reiner’s opinion, and he’s giving the camera a lop-sided smirk. Reiner almost shudders—that kind of look is almost the same kind Porco gave him back then whenever he was pushing his buttons, that smug, shit-eating grin that was almost always paired with a  _ “You’re pathetic, Braun!”  _ It’s almost uncomfortably familiar.

But Reiner’s an adult now. He’s 25-ish and the days of Porco walking all over him like a doormat are long gone. In fact, Porco actually laid off on all the shit-talk towards the time they departed for good. Reiner’s almost 100% sure Porco’s grown up and changed for the better. Reiner knows he himself has—that casual swagger and eagerness to prove himself are long gone. He’s mellowed out and gone through a few existential crises, and there’s no reason Porco hasn’t too. Porco doesn’t have any power over him, and hasn’t for a while.

So...why does Reiner feel nervous as his cursor hovers over the link?

It’s not like Porco knows he’s watching him. He’s not gonna know he clicked on his video. Reiner’s not even entirely sure what to expect. Contextually, it seems like Porco’s going to fuck himself on the dildo, and probably try to edge the audience. The title and the fact he’s holding a dildo imply that much.

Reiner swallows. He’s just doing this to satisfy his curiosity, that’s all.

After another moment of hesitation, Reiner clicks through and waits for the video to buffer. When Porco appears in full on his screen, half naked and sat on the edge of his bed, Reiner shifts in his sheets. He’s not going to jerk off or anything, he’s just here to see what Porco’s up to nowadays.

“I know you’ve been hiding things from me.”

Porco’s voice is hushed and low, so smooth it’s almost like he’s purring. He’s talking directly to the camera, gaze fixed straight ahead. Reiner has never heard him speak this way, using that drawled tone most porn stars out there have mastered. Typically, it’s not very impressive to Reiner, has no effect on him. But this...there’s a familiar face to put with those words. This is  _ far _ from typical, and Reiner has a reason to feel a little... _ weird. _

“While you were out today I took the liberty of cleaning up your room. I’d say you should be taking care of your shit more often, but...” Porco brings the bright pink dildo into frame. “I’m more concerned with how terrible you are at hiding  _ this _ kind of shit.”

Reiner swallows. He’s always hated weird dirty talk like this. It’s unnecessary and gets in the way of the actual fucking—not to mention, it always sounds forced and parroted. 

But here...Reiner almost feels like Porco’s actually talking to him. Like he’s seeing him, sitting on his bed, his room a little more cluttered than usual, and his still achingly hard dick tenting his trousers. Reiner inhales, exhales, steeling himself. It’s just a video, it’s just a video. Nothing to get worked up over. Porco’s not here, it’s just Reiner and his laptop.

“I mean, come  _ on. _ Under your  _ pillow?” _ Porco sneers. He passes the dildo to his other hand, eyeing the toy with a look of disgust. “You’re really begging for someone to find out about this, huh.”

Suddenly Reiner’s pillow doesn’t feel so comfortable anymore.

“Well,” Porco sighs, beginning to stroke the toy slowly. “Since I’m apparently living with a  _ whore,  _ I wanna see what I’m missing out on.”

“Do you play with yourself while I’m here, in the other room? Do you keep your voice down, afraid I might hear?”

Reiner shudders at the taunts. It’s nothing like the times Porco would laugh at his untied shoelaces, or when he’d complain about the way he was a kiss-ass to all their teachers. This Porco is...different.

Porco lowers the dildo into his lap, the bulbous tip resting on his inner thigh. Ah, Reiner thinks. This is the part where Porco will fuck himself.

“I want you to show me how you use this thing.”

And Reiner freezes.

“I want you to show me everything...the way you finger yourself...the way you touch your dick...the way you try to hold back all your moans,” Porco says, eyes lidded. He bites his lip, rolling it under his teeth. And then: “I want you to fuck yourse—”

_ Aaaand _ that's enough. Reiner exits out of his browser faster than he thought was possible. His reflection on the screen stares back at him with wide eyes, as if he's asking himself  _ "Just what the hell were you doing!?"  _ and he realizes just how flushed and sweaty he is. He’s even breathing hard, chest rising and falling, heart pounding.

Well. That...that  _ certainly _ was not what Reiner was expecting at all. But really, what  _ had _ Reiner been expecting? Reiner feels awash with guilt. Why in the world had he clicked on that video? Was he  _ really  _ looking to watch his childhood friend do  _ porn? _ Is that normal? Is that even a choice that’s remotely acceptable?

Reiner brushes the thought off. He was just sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. Checking that video out...it’s practically an invasion of privacy, isn’t it? This is all Porco’s business, not Reiner’s. He doesn’t need or want to see someone he’s known for years get naked and jerk off. And he certainly doesn't want to be told what to do by  _ Porco Galliard.  _ Those times are far behind the both of them. 

A few minutes later, Reiner opens up the porn site again and jerks off to one of his usuals. He does his best to forget about the way Porco had been staring him down through his camera, gaze hot and heavy like he was seeing right through him. 

* * *

For some reason the thought of that video stays on Reiner’s mind in the day that follows. And the day after that. And that day after that one too. It's like that kind of nagging worry that itches the back of your brain, sort of like how Reiner’s always wondering if he turned the stove off, if he locked his car, if he closed the garage, when he knows he has. And it’s an itch Reiner refuses to scratch.

Of  _ course _ Reiner’s not going back to watch that video. Can you imagine if you sat and watched someone who you’d known for nearly your whole life jerk off? Surely this is not a common experience. Yes, obviously porn stars have friends and all, but Reiner will  _ not _ be trying to justify himself in this situation. And whatever case, Reiner has standards—Porco doesn’t, and will never, fit them.

Unfortunately for Reiner, every time he jerks off a part of him can’t help but wonder what the rest of that video is like. He finds himself asking all sorts of completely unnecessary questions. Like, Porco’s soloing in the video, so...it’s not like he’s going to fuck someone else. Maybe he would do some kind of “demonstration” on himself? Or maybe he would just jerk it off, plain and simple. Whatever the case may be, that dildo was so  _ big... _ would it even fit inside someone’s...?

Reiner shakes himself out of those thoughts every time they bubble up. Gross,  _ gross!  _ Why is Reiner worried about any of this? It’s just porn. Porn is just random people jacking off and faking their orgasms. 

But...this time it isn’t someone random _. _ It’s  _ Porco.  _ And it’s just so unbelievable,  _ unfathomable _ that the guy would do this kind of thing. But to be fair, Reiner never asked him what he thought about sex and porn and all that stuff. Come to think of it, Reiner doesn’t remember Porco ever talking about his sexuality. Is the guy even into dudes? 

Well, whatever. It’s not important. Porco’s off doing whatever it is he’s doing, and Reiner’s doing his own stuff. Like working in retail and crashing the occasional karaoke night with his friends. He’s got no reason to be wondering about Porco. Nope. None at all.

Reiner just keeps himself busy. He’ll forget about it eventually.

* * *

Reiner does not forget about it eventually.

In fact, he’s thinking about it more and more. Whenever he has the time to jerk off, the image of Porco half naked and eyeing him like a wolf honing in on its prey flashes before his eyes. 

Most of the time, he’ll distract himself from the thought by jacking off a couple times in a row. Reiner figures if he just focuses on the way the top in his favorite video is grabbing his partner’s ass, if he pays attention to how cute the bottom’s moans are, all that nonsense will fade away. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Wrong. In fact, Reiner has to stop watching videos including dildos completely. It’s a shame, too, because some of those truly were gems in their own right. Giving them up was necessary, though—the mere sight of a dildo is practically enough to kill Reiner’s mood as well as his boner. At some point, Reiner realizes he’s even cut out all videos featuring toys of every kind.

He just can’t seem to shake the thought of That Video. 

One time, before Reiner’s about to look up his regular picks, he catches his cursor hovering over the  _ JOI _ tab in the suggested genre section. Something inside of him is just dying to snoop around a little more...surely it wouldn’t do any harm just to take one peek...

Reiner pinches himself for even entertaining the thought.

* * *

A man can only hold out for so long, though.

Reiner gives in on a quiet Sunday night, worn out and sore from a full day shift at the store. He’s swaddled up in his sheets, a cup of warm tea going cold on his night stand as he browses around on his laptop. His night was going perfectly fine until he made the mistake of going through his Youtube history, where he comes across that soup dumpling video, which of course reminds him of Porco.

And no, Reiner’s not sporting an erection this time around. If he had been turned on by food a second time, he figures he’d need psychological help. Worse, though, if he’d been turned on by the thought of Porco, then...well, let’s not think about that.

As he pulls up the site, Reiner looks around his room. For some reason, his nerves are alight. His skin crawls with anticipation, tongue caught between his teeth.  _ Come on, Reiner, _ he chastises himself.  _ There’s no one here. No one’s gonna know you’re looking up porn of your friend. _

Despite repeating that to himself over and over, he still feels like he’s teetering on the edge of his metaphorical seat. 

Once that accursed video has loaded, Reiner finds himself struggling to press the play button. He knows if he watches, he’s going to hear that same, condescending voice, see that sneer where Porco curls his lip up exposing his incisors. Porco doesn’t  _ scare _ him; Reiner stopped giving into the whole “prey” role Porco tried to keep him in when he was a teenager. This feeling is just his anxiousness to get it all over with, that’s all.

Numbly, Reiner hits the play button. He’s just here to watch it once, and then never, ever, ever  _ ever  _ think about it again. When he’s done, this whole thing will be in the past. 

He stares at the title as the video buffers. He never thought a phrase like  _ “Roommate Finds Your Secret Dildo, Makes You Jerk Off in Front of Him”  _ would have ever caused this much trouble.

Reiner sits through the intro, Porco’s words barely registering. He’s heard him saying  _ “Do you play with yourself while I’m here, in the other room? Do you keep your voice down, afraid I might hear?”  _ enough times in the past week. Not that Reiner’s thinking of it in  _ that _ way, it’s just... _ weird _ to hear someone you know use a porn voice. He doesn’t find it sexy, it’s just weird.

“—I want you to fuck yourself.”

That’s enough to get Reiner’s attention. He swallows thickly. This is where he had first abandoned his endeavor. 

“I wanna see you touch yourself first,” Porco snips. He sets the dildo on the bed, and Reiner does his best to peel his eyes away from the toy. Porco’s gaze then drops below the camera, as if to imply he’s watching someone reach between their own legs. Dizzy, Reiner realizes that someone is supposed to be him. “Get to it, then. I don’t have all day.” 

The command is grating to Reiner’s ears. No one talks to him like that, and he’s not used to being looked at like he’s a carpet stain, unless it’s from his manager at work. He sits up a little straighter; Porco’s not gonna push him around. Reiner’s just here to observe. 

Porco leans back, one arm propping him up on the bed. He turns up his chin disdainfully, eyes fixed on that same spot beneath the frame of view. 

“Getting hard already?” Porco snorts. “Don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about me...”

Reiner tries to convince himself the statement doesn’t phase him. It’s just a coincidence, this is all scripted. It’s fake, it’s all fake!

Porco goes on to spread his legs, and Reiner almost gapes at how he unashamedly goes to grab his dick through his boxers. Porco was always bold, never backing down from a challenge, but this is most certainly different. God, Reiner’s crossed the line now, he’s done it. He’s watching Porco masturbate. Maybe now’s a good time to just call it...

The brunette starts rubbing himself through the cloth. Reiner forces himself to stay focused on anything but the outline of his cock.  _ Wow, those hands are so nice!  _ he thinks to himself in a panic. They’re bonier than Reiner’s, whose fingers are a little thicker and squared. But he’s sure the both of them have calluses, that kind of roughness that never went away after years of sports. Or maybe Porco moisturizes better than Reiner, it seems like something pornstars might do. Reiner can’t help but wonder if that gentle, smooth touch might feel good on his own dick.

“I didn’t say stop,” Porco bites out. He runs his fingers through his hair. It’s still slicked back in that same style he’d kept ever since he first got his hands on hair gel. Stray strands fall across his forehead, softening the hard glint in his eyes. 

Porco’s fingers creep up to the waistband of his boxers. Before he pulls his dick out, a hand flies up to cover Reiner’s eyes. This is wrong, this is  _ so wrong! _ This is  _ absolutely _ crossing the line now!

Reiner can’t help but peek through his fingers.

Porco’s not fully hard yet, but he seems like he’s well on his way. Reiner’s never seen the guy’s dick, never even looked anywhere near the direction of his crotch. He’s actually...kind of  _ big, _ Reiner realizes, a lump forming in his throat. Not anything absurd like people who have done special work on themselves, but he has to admit it’s just not what he was expecting.

Porco gives himself a couple slow, long pumps. He drags his fist all the way from his base to his tip, and then back down. He’s biting on his lower lip, inhaling deep. 

“Keep going,” Porco says. Reiner is silent.

His eyes are glued to the screen, watching as Porco strokes himself to hardness. All he can hear is the few soft sighs he gives, the quiet grunts leaking out whenever he thumbs his slit. Reiner’s seen his fair share of videos of dudes jerking themselves off, this is nothing new to him. But for some reason, it feels entirely foreign, and Reiner is transfixed.

“Stop.”

Reiner blinks. He snaps out of the daze he didn’t realize he had been caught up in, uncrossing his folded legs. His knee bumps into his arm, and he jumps. He turns his attention to the offending limb, and immediately goes stone still.

This whole time, Reiner’s hand had been in his pants. His palm is sticky with precum, and his dick is hardening under his fingertips. He doesn’t remember moving to play along with Porco’s instruction. Whatever happened, Reiner had been  _ touching himself, _ he realizes, utterly mortified, and he’s  _ hard. _

“Here,” Porco continues. Reiner looks up meekly, watching as Porco tosses what looks like a bottle of lube towards the camera. “I found this, too. You’re shit at keeping secrets, you know that?”

Reiner side eyes his nightstand where his own lube is tucked away in his drawer. It’s not seen much use, since lube is expensive and Reiner prefers lotion anyways. Not to mention, Reiner hasn’t slept with anyone in ages. 

“Well, come on. I don’t like to be kept waiting,” Porco drawls with a snideness that hooks Reiner back into reality. “Or do I have to spell it out for you?”

Porco leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Finger yourself. Now.”

Reiner balks at the order, mouth almost agape. He’s never fingered himself before, never had anyone touch him down there. The thought of being penetrated always made him uneasy, it just wasn’t something he ever wanted.

But the way Porco’s looking him dead on, the way his tone is cutting and sharp...Reiner almost finds himself wondering if he could try it.

For reasons unknown, Reiner is reaching out to fish his lube from his drawer. He has no idea why he’s acquiescing to all of this, no idea what’s pushing him to do it. But his hand is moving on its own, uncapping the lube and squeezing out a generous amount onto his fingers.

He’s got no idea what to do from here. Yes, he’s fingered plenty of people before, but this isn’t like that. Is it going to be a tight fit? And does he just start sitting up like this? Helpless, he looks back up at Porco, as if he’d give him any advice.

But the brunette is silent, relaxing back into the bed as he returns to stroking his dick. Unsure of himself, Reiner rubs his own erection. He fiddles with his pants and underwear, and with a small shimmy of his waist manages to push it down his thighs. 

A light seems to turn on in Reiner’s brain.  _ I’m not really going to finger myself, _ he thinks dimly. This...this is just to get into the mood. There’s nothing else to it. 

“Don’t screw around with me. Just do it like you would when I’m not around,” Porco hisses. Then his voice gets low and velvety, like when he began the video. “Are you nervous now that I’m finally watching you?”

“None of this is real, none of this real,” Reiner stammers under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut. If he closes his eyes, then Porco’s not there, he’s not watching Reiner make a fool of himself.

But Porco is most certainly still there. “Mm, I always knew you were into this.”

_ I’m not, _ Reiner pleads. And yet, his hand is oh-so slowly making its way between his spread thighs. His heart is thumping so hard against his ribs it almost drowns out Porco’s voice.

“I bet it’s not enough. I bet you want more.”

Reiner’s fingers move under his dick. The coldness of the lube makes him shudder and he tilts his head back, like if he looks away then none of this will actually happen. 

“That’s why you have that toy, huh? Because it’s never enough with just your fingers.”

Reiner holds his breath as he brushes his entrance. It feels like his brain is going to melt.

“You just want to be full. You want to be used. You want to be fucked.”

“Oh, god,” Reiner whimpers. He screws his eyes shut even harder, hands trembling. He waits for Porco’s next line to come, chewing on his lips. Just let it end, just let it end.

Except, there’s nothing but silence. Reiner cracks an eye open, only to find the video has  _ ended! _

_ “What!!”  _ Reiner is almost shouting. With embarrassing franticness, he lunges toward his laptop, scrambling to check if the video is simply buffering, or even frozen. He’s greeted by the timestamp reading just 3:00. “Three minutes!” Reiner nearly throws his hands up in the air. What kind of sick fuck makes a three minute video just to cuck their audience like this!?

He scrolls down to the video description, and jesus christ, if only he had half a mind to have scanned it beforehand. It reads:

_ This is a short teaser for my latest commission. Full video is in my profile  _ [ _ here _ ](https://twitter.com/jawbreaker175) _ as usual. _

Reiner is dumbfounded. All of this pain, this misery—it was over a  _ teaser!? _ He wants to get angry, to shut his laptop closed and bury himself in his sheets to hibernate for the next 8 hours and to forget any of this happened. To forget he let Porco walk all over him, to forget he had actually listened to him, to forget he had even considered... _ fingering himself. _

But...Reiner really  _ had _ let all those things happen. And not only that, but he had even sort of... _ enjoyed it. _ The realization makes his stomach churn. 

The link to Porco’s profile glares at him hauntingly. It’s like the words are saying “ _ Go on, coward, I know you want to see the rest of that video.”  _ That voice sounds a little too much like Porco’s for Reiner to be comfortable with.

Reiner hardly gets a wink of sleep after that.

* * *

Reiner only manages to keep away from the video for a week.

As stated before, a man can only hold out for so long. Mind you, Reiner had been practically blue-balled by the video, had refused to touch his dick for the rest of the night. It’s only natural to feel this way, isn’t it? He hasn’t jerked off in days now, and he feels like he’s losing his mind.

The state of things is even starting to affect his daily life somehow. One day a customer with slicked back hair passes him by in the refrigerated section, looking suspiciously familiar. Reiner puts forth an embarrassing amount of effort into avoiding him, jumping between the produce aisle and the deli area. After 10 minutes of dodging, he finally gets a good look at the guy, only to discover it’s not Porco. Reiner’s so paranoid it’s embarrassing.

He’s even snooping around about Porco, something he’d never dream of doing  _ ever. _

“How long has it been since you’ve seen the Galliard bro’s?” he finds himself asking Ymir during his lunch break (she works at the kennel just a block over). She’s been a family friend of the Galliards since she was little; some would say she’s practically an adopted sister.

Ymir crooks up an eyebrow. “Haven’t seen those idiots in a couple months. They’ve just been busy with work I guess,” she says. Her gaze is fixed on Reiner at a sideways angle, clearly suspicious. Reiner was conscious enough not to single out Porco. Mentioning him on his own would raise a thousand alarm bells with Ymir, who would pester him relentlessly. Reiner? Interested in  _ Porco? _ The sky might as well be turning purple to her.

“Why do you ask?” Ymir hums. There’s the million dollar question Reiner hoped wouldn’t come.

“Ummm,” Reiner stretches. Thankfully he’s prepared a half-assed escape out of this. “Just was thinking about Marcel. Y’know, the whole travel thing he wanted to do.” He gestures vaguely.

“Mm, nah, he’s still around,” Ymir shakes her head, brushing off a tuft of dog fur fuzz stuck to her jacket. “He’s saving up, ‘n stuff. And he likes hanging around Porco, y’know, even if they don’t live together anymore.”

Reiner hopes the way he squirms at the mention of Porco isn’t too obvious. Thankfully, Ymir is too busy with her dog hair laden shirt to take notice.

“I see,” Reiner says, and that’s the end of that. He can’t bring himself to ask anything specific about Porco, and so he’s left to wonder about him on his own. Like, where does he live, and what’s his job? It would be a death sentence to ask something so out of the ordinary like that with Ymir. Before he’d even get the last word out, she’d have texted everyone he knew about it, and he wouldn’t be surprised if when he got off his shift he’d find a raging text message from Porco going “ _ The fuck are you so worried about me for?”  _ And Reiner has no idea what he’d say to that.

Reiner is still mulling it all over when he gets home, flopped on his couch. Something’s on the TV, either a show on house flipping or a movie, but Reiner’s not paying attention. He’s stuck in his own world, when he hears the doorbell ring.

“Wuh?” he frowns. He’s not expecting anyone, but it’s not super late. It might be Annie coming by to drop off the sourdough starter she sneaks home from work every few days. His brain spends a couple seconds booting up before he remembers what it is, and he’s up and flying toward the door.

Whipping open the door, he finds himself greeted by a small package sitting on his doormat. Like a starved animal he snatches it up into his arms, and before glancing side to side to ensure no one’s watching him, ducks back inside.

Once the door clicks shut, Reiner leans back, sinking down slow and steady to the floor. The package is light, inconspicuous. His name and address are tagged on the side, clear tape sealing it shut. It all looks innocent enough, but knowing what’s inside has Reiner’s heart racing.

His hands shake as he fumbles with his car keys, using them to cut through the tape. There, in the package, snuggled up neatly in its own plastic casing, is a bright pink dildo.

This was the real reason why Reiner had stayed away from that video for this long. Reiner doesn't remember the process of ordering the thing, has no idea what even prompted him to do so. But it’s finally here, after two business days, right in his lap.

God, what has Reiner come to?

The journey to his bed is a blur. Eventually he’s sat in his boxers with his laptop in front of him, the dildo nestled in a towel beside him with the lube. He has his wallet in one hand, pulling up The Video. His fingers are quivering as he types in the URL.

Why, why,  _ why _ is he doing this, he asks over and over. There’s no reason for this to have ever been a big deal to him. There’s absolutely nothing driving him to do this. He’s going to have to  _ pay _ to watch the rest of this video, for crying out loud! Every little detail is just screaming  _ move on with your life!  _ Despite everything, Reiner is still clicking through to Porco’s off-site profile.

He stares at Porco’s page. A banner of the brunette’s abs takes up the top space, and Reiner is almost surprised by the crisp picture quality. The title “Jawbreaker” reads below it, an innuendo so blatant Reiner almost cringes, next to his profile picture. It’s a side shot of Porco’s face, he’s looking off to the left and is, in obviously appropriate fashion, shirtless. Reiner doesn’t think he ever paid attention to how chiseled his jawline looked back then.

The bio is brief and concise:

_ Live weekly on Saturdays 10PM PT. Custom content prices negotiable. _

_ Subscription cost: $15 a month _

It’s neat and gets straight to the point; just like how Porco has always been. Reiner tries to ignore the strange familiarity of it all. 

Further down are what must be his individual posts. They’re all locked behind subscription, and Reiner swallows hard, he’ll probably have to do some digging to find That Video. Well, better get on with it.

Once his credit card information is punched in, his own account made, his cursor is hovering over the subscribe button. Goodbye to the $15 Reiner could have spent elsewhere.

The Video is a couple posts down, the date indicating it was posted just a couple weeks ago. As it loads, Reiner’s faced by his own ragged reflection.  _ I’ve got no words for you, buddy, _ he thinks bitterly. 

Really, why is Reiner here? How did he ever end up on Porco’s personal porn website? Why did he just blow $15 he’s not gonna get back?

_ “You want to be fucked.” _

The memory of Porco’s words, said barely above a whisper, sends a shudder down Reiner’s spine. Much as he doesn’t want to admit it, maybe...maybe he does.

It plays automatically once it’s buffered. Reiner bites down on his tongue nervously. 

For the third time, Reiner sits through the introduction, watches on as Porco gropes himself through his boxers, chews on his lips and goes through his list of taunts. Absentmindedly, Reiner finds himself mirroring him, gently squeezing his own dick, confined in his briefs. 

Once he reaches the part where Porco tells him to finger himself, Reiner takes his hand off his dick. Last time around, he hadn’t done it, had only started right as the video had ended. He vaguely remembers the way it felt as his finger just brushed up against his hole. He’s never done anything like this to himself, it’s all new...

Porco is leering down at Reiner, eyes lidded. It’s almost like he’s watching Reiner the way a tiger would before devouring its prey. Reiner feels a warm flush rise in his cheeks as he grabs the lube, coating his fingers generously.

Well...it can’t be  _ that _ hard. It’s just an in and out motion, Reiner’s done that before, he’s just never been on the  _ receiving _ end of things. Tentatively, he pushes his forefinger against his rim, gulping down a whimper. It’s wet and weird, and his entrance clenches reflexively, as if it’s unwelcome to any intrusion. 

With trepidation, Reiner sinks one finger inside of himself. 

“Ugh,  _ ugh,”  _ he groans. Tight, it’s tight—even with the lube, the slide isn’t as easy as he thought it would be. Gross as it sounds, his insides feel warm and soft. He faintly remembers the sensation of fingering other guys and making them beg for more, breaking some people in with just a curl of his fingers. 

But here he is now, almost falling apart at just the one. 

“What a slut.”

Reiner jolts at the insult. Under normal circumstances, he would have cringed and moved onto something else to watch. But these are very much  _ not _ normal circumstances, and he’s got one finger up his ass.

“Not a slut,” he mutters under his breath. Even if Porco can’t hear him, he’s still not going to take that verbal abuse. He hadn’t back then, and he won’t now.

He pants hard as he pulls his finger out, pushes it back in. The friction sends little sparks of pleasure out from his stomach. It’s...it’s  _ good. _ So he does it again. 

At some point, Reiner’s begun pushing his hips down against his wrist, meeting his thrusts. His dick is hard, neglected, and his legs are splayed out, caging in his laptop. His breath catches in his throat every time he seats himself deeper, deeper, with each push. 

“Spread yourself more. I want to see,” Porco orders.

Reiner huffs, burning with humiliation. Of course Porco’s not actually going to  _ see _ anything. But it is getting hard to push in deeper, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to listen. Porco never gave him direct orders like this back then, it was always plain insults or jabs. The most straightforward it would ever get to was  _ “Just stay out of my way, loser.”  _ Reiner brings his free hand down under his thigh, hiking it up. His fingers dig into the meat of his ass, pulling it to the side. 

And of course, doing so  _ does _ make it easier. Suddenly, he’s got a second finger working in and out of himself. He’s sensitive, twitching as he rubs his insides tenderly. It’s still tight, and if he’s not careful the stretch becomes a little too much for him to bear. Head tossed to the side, he chances a glance up at Porco.

The brunette is busy stroking his cock, slow and steady. The way he pins Reiner down with his gaze is all consuming. It leaves him with nowhere and nothing to hide, trapping him in place as he fingers himself with all the grace and poise of an amateur.

“Ahh—” Reiner sighs. He finally manages to get three fingers inside himself, but he’s a mess. His bangs are matted and sweaty, stuck to his forehead, and he’s doing his best to keep his balance. The angle is awkward, definitely not the best, and he’s struggling to get as deep as he can like this. His wrist is getting sore and his head is growing fuzzier and fuzzier.

Half of Reiner has no idea why he’s never tried this before, and the other half is so deeply humiliated he can’t bring himself to look back up at Porco, as if doing so would send him crashing over the edge. Reiner just can’t believe how full he feels, the exhilaration of fucking himself on his fingers leaving him buzzed and heady. And somehow, he’s left wanting more, needing more. It’s not enough, it’s not enough—

“You’re ready to fuck yourself now I bet,” Porco cuts through the haze clouding Reiner’s mind. 

“Nn..” Reiner blinks. Porco is holding the pink dildo in both hands, cocking his head to the side. 

Ah, Reiner almost forgot...he has one too now. He looks over his shoulder down at his newly bought toy. It’s not the same as Porco’s, not as bright and definitely not as thick or long. Reiner recalls how he’d gone into the beginner’s category online, looking for the cheapest but most reasonably rated item he could find. It’s ribbed and looks soft, and it measures out to about 5 inches. By mere coincidence it happens to be pink like the one Porco has, that’s all.

“Take your fingers out now.”

Carefully, Reiner obeys. “U-ugh,” he grimaces, the sloppy sound adding more insult to injury. The sensation of emptiness he’s left with is brand new to him, and it feels almost torturous.

“You must feel so empty now,” Porco says in an almost crooning manner, clearly meant to be mocking. Reiner can’t help a small nod.

His eyes are fixed on the screen as he watches Porco drizzle the dildo with lube. In the back of his head Reiner is silently thanking himself for not buying something that  _ big _ —it looks at least a good inch or two longer than his, and it’s definitely thicker. 

Porco carries on with the motion, pumping the dildo up and down. Unsure of himself, Reiner grabs his own and coats it with lube. He doesn’t take his eyes off Porco’s hand, trying to match his pace. He doesn’t dare look down, afraid to acknowledge that, yes, he’s about to put this $15 dildo up his ass. Another $15 he could have spent on something worthwhile.

After careful assessment, Reiner thinks he’s sufficiently lubed up the toy. It’s not  _ too _ big, and it’s made of silicone, so it won’t be horrible. At least, Reiner hopes.

He’s a little startled to see Porco bring out what looks like a large fleshlight. Well, of course—that’s probably where his dildo’s going. Porco brushes the head of the toy up against its entrance, and Reiner shivers. He can almost feel the phantom sensation of something rubbing up against his hole, yearning to be filled.

“Feels good, doesn’t it.” It’s more a statement than a question. Porco circles the tip around the fleshlight’s opening, teasing. Reiner’s never seen him move with such careful precision—he was always loud and pushy, nothing but bared teeth and an unflinching demeanor. Fumbling, Reiner nearly drops his own toy as he moves to press it up against himself. It  _ does _ feel good...

Slowly, almost painfully so, Porco starts easing the toy into the fleshlight. But Reiner hesitates, his hand won’t move. The room is dead quiet, save for Reiner’s labored breaths. He could still walk away from all this. He doesn’t have to do this, to give into Porco.

But Reiner can’t seem to pull himself away.

“Nnngh—” Reiner gasps. The tip slips inside of him, and  _ oh god _ it’s so much bigger than his fingers.  _ Full, full, full  _ is all that fills his head. Fuck, if this is just the tip, how’s he going to manage the rest of it? How is he going to fuck himself?

Porco is pushing the toy even deeper into the fleshlight, and Reiner feels embarrassingly out of breath. He works out on a regular basis, runs the mile daily without breaking a sweat, but here he is, falling behind Porco. He almost cries out  _ “Wait, I’m not ready,” _ his entire body still adjusting to the feeling of fullness. 

The brunette raises a brow, almost challengingly. It’s like he’s saying  _ “You couldn’t  _ really  _ take all of this.”  _ He can almost see Porco spitting in his face,  _ “You’re pathetic, Braun!” _

And Reiner’s not going to back down from that.

He forces the toy in with a courageous push—and immediately regrets it. Oh, fuck, it’s too much all at once, Reiner wasn’t ready for this. It feels like he’s being split open, exposed, like a nerve. His ears ring and his eyes see stars. 

“Fuck, I c-can’t—” Reiner wheezes. His free hand claws at the sheets for purchase, trying to ground himself. His ass hovers over the bed, afraid if he pushes down the toy will go further inside. 

“Take it all,” Porco snaps.

Eyes wet with tears, Reiner glances up. His gut seizes, twists and turns as he watches Porco push the toy all the way into the base. 

God, it  _ hurts.  _ Reiner knows if he pushes it all the way in, he’ll be a goner. He needs a moment, just a second to compose himself and catch up. But Porco seems to have little regard for his stamina, as he slowly pulls the toy out. Fuck, Reiner knows what’s next—he’s going to fuck it back inside.

Carefully, Reiner drags the toy out. He clamps down, almost writhing as he endures the licks of pleasure-pain. He stops as Porco does, right before pulling it free completely. Porco doesn’t move. Reiner feels like he’s been left dangling over the edge, grasping at thin air to keep himself from falling.

And as Porco shoves the toy back in, Reiner follows suit.

“A-ah,  _ please!”  _ Reiner yelps, voice cracking. He throws his head back, throat hoarse and scratched. The toy is pushed in almost to the base, overwhelming his senses. Spots of white dot the back of his vision.  _ Holy fuck. _

Reiner doesn’t need to see what Porco’s doing to know what’s coming. The squelch of lube is agonizingly loud, wet and lewd. Reiner wants to bask in the warmth, savor the way he feels so completely and utterly  _ filled.  _ Porco has no mercy, though. The pace picks up, the sound of his thrusts growing louder and faster. Reiner whines. He’s still not ready.

He’s not ready, but he’s lashed to Porco’s rhythm. So Reiner goes along with his lead, fucking the toy in and out of himself. 

With every thrust, the burn inside of him simmers down a little more to a sensuous flame. Before he realizes it, Reiner loses himself in it all. Little moans and whimpers fall from his lips. “Ah, ah,” he cries, over and over. Tears spill over the corners of his eyes and run down his cheeks, getting caught in his stubble. He doesn’t have to check his reflection to know he’s a total wreck. What would Porco think, if he saw him like this, fucking himself with spread legs and a toy deep inside of him, begging for just a moment to pause and slow down?

The thought sends a bolt of shameful pleasure racing up his spine. 

_ This, _ Reiner thinks, jumping with each push and pull,  _ is so fucking amazing. _

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but when he looks back to Porco, he finds he’s put the toys aside, and is now jerking his own dick off. It’s like he’s getting off to Reiner in his pathetic state, composed as Reiner crumbles into an absolute mess.

Reiner is too humiliated to admit the power imbalance turns him on beyond belief.

“Unbelievable...I can’t believe I’m living with such a  _ whore.” _

Reiner gasps for breath. His eyes blink shut as he begins stroking his own dick. The remark should sting, but instead something flutters deep in his chest. God, what the hell is wrong with Reiner. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

_ I am, _ Reiner thinks.

“You should be sorry for hiding this from me.”

“I  _ am  _ sorry,” Reiner’s shocked to hear his own voice. “I’m s-suh, sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Look at me when I talk to you,” Porco orders.

Reiner does his best to meet his gaze through his tears. He can barely feel his hand working the dildo in and out of himself. Porco’s fist is flitting up and down his own cock. He looks achingly hard, like he’s going to come soon.

“Even  _ this _ isn’t enough for you, right?” Porco snickers. 

Reiner furrows his brow. How could he possibly go further than this? He feels indescribably full, he thinks he’d knock out cold at anything more than this. But his wrist is getting numb, and his back is throbbing as he curls over to fuck himself harder. He doesn’t want to stop, but he’s  _ exhausted, _ and he almost wishes— 

“This whole time you just wanted me to fuck you.”

Reiner comes with a warbled cry, stuttered and frail. He feels his hole clenching over and over, milking the length of the toy. “Oh,  _ f-fuck,”  _ he whimpers pathetically. Weak pulses of come spill over his fingers, some spurts landing on his stomach. His vision goes blurry with more tears and his mind feels like mush. His thighs shake with the force of his orgasm and he nearly topples backward.

Coming down from his high, Reiner collapses onto his side. He feels like he’s floating, weightless, distantly aware of the drool trailing down his chin. He can’t be bothered to do much other than pull the dildo out of himself, whining softly at the loss. 

Minutes—or maybe moments, Reiner hasn’t the faintest idea—later, Porco is coming too, with a steady, low groan that borders on a growl. As he watches him finish, the image of Porco coming all over him, of Porco fucking him, flit before his eyes. 

Reiner’s never come this hard. Well, maybe he has, and the memory was just lost to time. Reiner can’t believe he’d waited this long to try anything like this. If he had known he would lose his mind like this, he would have done it ages ago.

Although, Reiner isn’t exactly sure what “it” constitutes—from fucking himself, to taking the brunt of verbal degradation, to...to watching  _ Porco _ get off...to  _ obeying him. _ Raw shame surges through Reiner. He can’t believe he submitted to all of this. More than that, he can’t believe that he  _ liked _ it.

There’s not much Reiner can do to resist the wave of fatigue washing over him. He’s thankful to pass out and avoid any further self-interrogation and ensuing humiliation. Before he gives in to sleep, he casts a look toward his laptop. The image of Porco is fuzzy, but he’s there. He can just make out his figure standing, coming closer to the camera as his face comes into focus. That shit-eating grin is back. Before, Reiner would have bristled at it, pushed him out of the way. Now? It makes his knees feel like jell-o. Things really _have_ changed over the years.

Maybe Reiner should give Porco a call, or something...

**Author's Note:**

> i swear one day i'll write reiner getting some real life dick please don't kill me
> 
> also, fun little easter egg, the link to porco's profile *is* clickable so if you're curious you can go back and check it out.
> 
> [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/dildos/realistic-dildos/p/doc-johnson-crystal-jellies-ribbed-anal-starter-dildo-5-inch/a35165g63915.html) is the dildo reiner uses and [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/dildos/realistic-dildos/p/lovehoney-curved-silicone-suction-cup-dildo-7-inch/a30709g52030.html) is the one porco uses (except it's pink lol)
> 
> you can find me on twitter [@reinerheart!](https://twitter.com/reinerheart) come talk to me! i just got started lol


End file.
